"No! Ezra, stop! I can't!"
With a deliberately unstifled curse, Ezra Farmington lifted himself off
the struggling girl beneath him, swung to the edge of the bed, and sat
there, fighting for breath and composure, his entire body—but most
particularly, he noticed sardonically, his head— throbbing. He lowered
this to his hands, burying his fingers in honey-coloured hair. Now she
would cry, he thought. "All right, all right!"he said and added
savagely, "I'm not a rapist, for God's sake!"
She did begin to cry at that, a fist at her mouth, dry hot sobs erupting
from deep within her. He reached for the lamp. "No!"Her voice stopped
him.
"Danny,"he said, trying to speak calmly but aware that he was forcing
words out between clenched teeth. He couldn't look at her.
"I'm sorry!"she wept.
It was all too familiar. It couldn't go on. "This is ridiculous, you
know."He reached for his watch, saw from the luminous dial that it was
nearly eight, and put it on. He began to dress.
At that, the crying increased. A hand reached for him, touched his naked
back. He flinched. The sobbing continued. He picked up the rest of his
clothes, left the room, went into the lavatory, and, after dressing,
stared morosely at his reflection in the dusky mirror while his watch
ticked away fi ve minutes.
When he returned, the weeping had stopped. She still lay on the bed, her
ivory body shimmering in the moonlight, and stared at the ceiling. Her
hair was darkness; the rest of her was light. His artist's eyes
travelled the length of her: the curve of cheek, the fullness of breast,
the swelling of hip, the softness of thigh. An objective study in black
and white, translated quickly to canvas. It was an exercise he often
engaged in, one which disassociated mind from body, something he most
particularly wanted to do right now. His eyes fell on the curling
triangle of darkness. Objectivity shot out the window.
"For God's sake, get dressed,"he snapped. "Am I supposed to stand here staring at you as retribution?"
"You know why 'tis,"she whispered. She made no other move. "You know why."
"That I do,"he replied. He stayed across the room by the lavatory door.
It was safer there. A few feet closer and he'd be on her again, and
there'd be no stopping it. He felt his jaw tighten, felt every muscle
coil with a life of its own. "You don't lose a chance to remind me."
Danny sat up, swung on him. "Why should I?"she shouted. "You know wha' you did!"
"Be quiet! Do you want Fitzalan to report back to your aunt? Have some sense, won't you?"
"Why should I? When did you?"
"If you won't let it go, then what's the point, Danny? Why see me at all?"
"You can ask that? Even now? When everyone knows?"
He crossed his arms in front of him, steeling himself to the sight of
her. Her hair was tangled round her shoulders; her lips were parted; her
cheeks were wet with tears, glistening in the dull light. Her
breasts…He forced his eyes to remain on her face.
"You know what happened. We've been over it a thousand times. Going over
it a thousand times more won't change the past. If you can't let it go,
then we've got to stop seeing each other."
More tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks. He hated to see her
cry. It made him want to cross the room and crush her in his arms, but
what was the use? It would only begin again and end in disaster.
"No."She was still crying, but her voice was low. She hung her head. "I don' want that."
"Then what do you want? I need to know because I know very well what I
want, Danny, and if we both don't want the same thing, then there's
really no use, is there?"He was struggling to summon up control but what
little he had was vanishing quickly. He thought he might actually cry
with frustration.
"I want you,"she whispered.
Oh God, that cuts it. That really does. "You don't want that,"he replied
miserably. "Because even if you did, and even if you had me, at every
juncture you'd throw the past in my face. And I can't bear that, Danny.
I've had enough."To his horror, his voice caught on the last word.
Her head flew up. "I'm sorry,"she whispered. She slipped off the bed and
came across the room, her body sculpted by moonlight. He looked away.
Her smooth fingers found their way to his cheek, across it, into his
hair. "I never do think o' your pain,"she said. "Only my own. I'm so
sorry, Ezra."
He drove his gaze to the wall, the ceiling, the square of night sky beyond the window. If he met her eyes, he knew he was lost.
"Ezra?"Her voice was like a caress in the darkness. She smoothed back his hair, took a step closer.
He could smell her musky fragrance, feel the tips of her breasts sear
his chest. Her hand dropped to his shoulder and pulled him closer.
"Don't you think,"she continued, "we both have t'forgive?"
It was finally too much. There was nowhere else to look. His last sane thought was: Better lost than alone.
Nigel Parrish waited until they returned from the lounge to the public
bar. He was still sitting in his usual corner, taking his time about
nursing a Courvoisier, when they fi nished their meal.
He regarded them with the kind of interest he usually reserved for the
village inhabitants, quite as if they were going to be around for the
next few years. They were certainly worth the time and consideration, he
decided, for they were so deliciously bizarre a couple.
The man's dressed absolutely to kill, Nigel thought and chuckled
inwardly at his tasteless pun. Charcoal suit, hand-tailored and fairly
shrieking Savile Row, gold pocket watch looped across waistcoat,
Burberry tossed casually onto the back of a chair—why is it that people
with the money to buy Burberries always toss them about without a second
thought?—shoes polished to a sombre, unscuffed shine. This was Scotland
Yard?
Somehow the woman was more what he had in mind. She was short and dumpy,
sort of a walking rubbish-bin type. She wore a wrinkled, stained suit
that fitted her badly. Entirely the wrong colour for her as well, Nigel
noted. Baby blue's a lovely colour, but not on you, dumpling. Her blouse
was yellow and did distressing things to her sallow complexion, not to
mention the fact that it was very badly tucked in all around. And the
shoes! Sensible brogues were what one would expect of the police and
indeed she wore them. But with blue tights to match the suit? Lord, what
a vision the poor woman was. He clucked his disapproval and got to his
feet.
He sauntered over to the table they had chosen near the door. "Scotland
Yard?"he began chattily, without introduction. "Has anyone told you
about Ezra?"
As he lifted his head to look at the newcomer Lynley's first thought
was, No, but I should guess you're about to. A man stood there, brandy
glass in hand, obviously waiting for an invitation to sit. When Sergeant
Havers automatically opened her notebook, he considered himself a
member of their party and pulled out a chair.
"Nigel Parrish,"he introduced himself.
The organist, Lynley recalled. He guessed that the man was somewhere in
his forties, and he was blessed with features that middle age enhanced.
Thinning brown hair, touched by grey at the temples, was combed neatly
off an intelligent brow; a firm, straight nose gave Parrish's face
distinction; a strong jaw and chin were indications of strength. He was
slender, not particularly tall, and striking rather than handsome.
"Ezra?"Lynley prompted him.
Parrish's brown eyes darted from person to person in the room, as if he
were waiting for someone to enter. "Farmington. Our resident artist.
Doesn't every village have a resident artist, poet, novelist, or
something? I thought that was a virtual requirement of country
life."Parrish shrugged narrow shoulders. "Ezra's ours. Watercolours. The
occasional oil. Not bad, actually. He even sells some of them in a
gallery in London. He used to come here for just a month or so each
year, but he's become one of us now."He smiled down at his drink. "Dear,
dear Ezra,"he mused.
Lynley was not about to be played like a fi sh on the line. "What is it
you'd like us to know about Ezra Farmington, Mr. Parrish?"
Parrish's startled glance betrayed that he hadn't quite been expecting
so direct an approach. "Aside from the fact that he's just the teeniest
bit of a village Lothario, there's what happened on the Teys's place
that you ought to know."
Lynley found Ezra's romantic inclinations to be neither here nor there,
although obviously they were of interest to Parrish. "What happened on
the Teys's place?"he asked, ignoring the other dangling line.
"Well…"Parrish warmed to his topic but a sad glance at his empty glass cooled the fi res of the story.
"Sergeant,"Lynley said tonelessly, his eyes on the other man, "would you get Mr. Parrish another—"
"Courvoisier,"Parrish said with a smile.
"And one for me."
Havers obediently left the table. "Nothing for her?"Nigel asked, face wrinkled with concern.
"She doesn't drink."
"What a bore!"When Havers returned, Parrish treated her to a sympathetic
smile, took a genteel sip of the cognac, and settled down to his story.
"As to Ezra,"he said, leaning into the table confidentially, "it was a
nasty little scene. The only reason I know about it is that I was out
that way. Whiskers, you see."
Lynley had gone in this direction once before. "The musical dog."
"Pardon?"
"Father Hart told us that Whiskers liked to lie on the common and listen to you play the organ."
